A Poem About Adulting (Part Two)

Good morning y’all,

I wrote sort of a heavy post yesterday, as I was frustrated trying to come up with a new blog topic and struggling with some personal things I’m dealing with in my own life. Thus, I would like to summarize my thoughts today in the form of a much lighter poem about adulting.

Please don’t take this post too seriously, as it’s meant to be comical.

Adulting

Job, job, where can I find you?

As the resumes fly here and there 

I am looking for one, searching for one anywhere 

At the store, in the morgue, oh job, you must be somewhere 

Taxes, taxes, the next thing 

Why must you be so confusing? 

With your numbers and your fancy words 

Your attempts to trip me up with your worth 

College, college, when will you start?

In my gap semester, it’s already March

With the essays and the homework that I miss so much 

Hopefully you’ll start soon, with any luck

Friends, friends, with too much to do 

When will I be able to hang out with you? 

With your classes, jobs, and miles away 

When will you come back to hang? 

TV, TV, my only hope 

To get me through this crazy road 

With your Netflix shows and weekly airings 

As my life seems to be disappearing 

I’ll get through it, oh yes I will 

Yes, before I know it, I’ll be over the hill. 

– By Courtney M. 

Feel free to post this to your blog, just as long as you link back to 1timothy412girl.com!

I promise to get back to more substantial posts soon!😜

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In Dependence

I have a confession to make: 

I’m a recovering independent. 

From the time I was a little girl, I’ve always been determined to rely on myself and never, ever ask for help with anything. I had four favorite words as a child—always in the same order.

“I’ll do it myself.” 

As I’ve gotten older, this symptom has only seemed to grow more severe.

Perhaps it’s a by-product of the thousands of self-help/self empowerment messages I’ve absorbed over my lifetime, an extremely perfectionistic personality, or the fear of depending on others. More than likely, it’s a combination of all of the above. Sometimes, this translates into positive character traits such as a good work ethic and healthy sense of independence. Other times, my self-relience becomes a vice. It can cause me to become stubborn, avoiding asking for help—even from the One who we’re called to lean on in times of need.

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This year, I feel like God is slowly trying to break this vice, helping me to rely more on Him and less on myself. Most of you know that this is my first year of college, but one thing that some of you may not know is that I was homeschooled K-12.

I wasn’t anti-social, sheltered, or otherwise freakish during my school years, but prior to 2016, I was in classes where the majority of my classmates shared my faith. I still saw and dealt with many of the same struggles that people in public/private schools deal with, but I was accustomed to being surrounded by fellow believers in my homeschool classes (Yes, many homeschoolers do take classes outside of the house). I had what many people would consider a “small town experience”. I knew most of my teachers before I took classes with them and grew up with a lot of the same kids all the way through school.

Oftentimes, I took the comforts of familiarity for granted, not realizing how comfortable I have become in the same building, with the same students for so many years. Now, I barely know anyone at college and I’m in a secular environment for the first time.

The rug of familiarity has been pulled out from underneath me.

Nonetheless, through all of this, I believe that God is trying to make me stronger and more reliant on Him. No longer can I depend on myself, familiarity, or the comfort of being surrounded by fellow Christians. When I’m alone and uncertain at college, I have to depend solely on God – trusting that He’ll give me the strength I need to get through the day. 

To quote Julian, a fellow blogger friend, I need to “Frog it“—in other words, Fully Rely On God. There are times that we can’t fully rely on ourself in this world. In a world where Christians are becoming more the minority every day, crime and death runs rampant, and a thousand choices lay before our eyes, we need to keep our eyes on one thing and one thing only—Jesus. He’s the only one big enough to help us through all of life’s ups and downs.

If you’re also a recovering independent, I urge you to sink into Jesus and give Him the steering wheel. It may be scary, but in the end, He’s the one that can sustain us and carry us through this rapidly spinning world. We need Him in every breath and every moment.

We need to FROG it, fully relying on a God who knows us in our weakness and strength, our doubt and confidence, and every moment of our life. God has entrusted us with this life that we’re living. 

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The question that we have to answer is this: Will we trust God? 

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
    who draws strength from mere flesh
    and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
    they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
    in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Reflections On College

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”-C. S. Lewis

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The first week of school is always an interesting time. With this season comes new teachers, new classmates, and at times—a new school. College, I’ve found, contains all of this and more.

As I walked through the glass doors of college last Tuesday, the realization came in full force that this was my first time in a secular environment. I had a Christian education all the way through school, so most of my interactions up until now have been with fellow believers. And, as much as I’ve joked about some of the interesting customs of Christian subculture (e.g. “testamints” are actually a thing), I’ve come to find that there really is something special about being surrounded by other believers.

Thankfully, no one has been hostile about my faith (I honestly thought they were going to confiscate my cross earrings on the first day), but it’s also common knowledge that faith is not a normal conversation topic. Knowing about all of the hip Christian singers and bands gets you virtually no brownie points from fellow classmates in college. For the first time, I’m faced with the challenge of being “In the world, but not of it”.

I’m still trying to figure out what this looks like in real life.

Nonetheless, I believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve learned a lot over the course of high school and I believe that now God wants to teach me something new. He has each one of us in our current life situations for a reason. Even Jesus couldn’t stay in His hometown forever if He wanted to make an impact—He had to venture out in to the world around Him. In the words of an old Kelly Clarkson song “I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly. I’ll do what it takes until I touch the sky.In order to fly, I must first jump, using my faith as wings to guide me through new and unfamiliar territory. 

If you’re at a new school, a new work place, or like me, starting college for the first time, I want to encourage you to cling tightly to God and step into His will with courage and bravery. He has us where we are for a reason. If we had stayed in elementary school our whole lives, imagine how much we would have missed out on! We grow through new experiences, new people, and new places.

I don’t know how God’s going to use me in college or what this season will look like, but I trust that He’ll guide me through this process. I have officially decided to make Joshua 1:9 my “verse-of-the-year“.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

I may be in a new stage of life, but I know that I’m not alone in it. Just because my school isn’t ‘Christian‘ doesn’t mean that God isn’t there. He’s with me in those very hallways, within the walls of each one of my classes. God may push us out of our comfort zone, but He will never leave us alone. He is our strength and our shield, making us warriors ready for anything that comes our way. 

If God brings you to it, He’ll give you the strength to get through it—and thrive in the midst of it. If we take one day at a time, and trust God with every moment, we can rise to any occasion and grow in our faith. 

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians 6:13-18.