Consolidation In A Time Of Chaos

Courtney2 Comments

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr.

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Two days ago, we had our official 2016 election. One day later, the internet exploded with a mix of extreme joy and extreme sorrow. Those who supported our new president celebrated. Those who did not support him mourned—some even going so far as to protest in the streets.

Typically, I try to avoid the topic of politics on my blog. Typically, my articles focus on how we can be more united as the body of Christ in the midst of a changing world. Politics on the other hand, tends to divide. I believe that a person can be a good and faithful Christian from either side of the political spectrum, and that in the big scheme of things, there are way more important things to worry about than who’s in the White House.

Nonetheless, due to the unusual nature of this particular election, I feel led to address it in a way that will hopefully bring more unity than division.

I’m not writing this to endorse Donald Trump. I’m also not writing this to endorse Hilary Clinton. In fact, my first-ever vote went to a third party candidate. But, this post isn’t about that. It’s about unity, and how we can better understand and empathize with each other as a nation. If you are reading this from another country, I encourage you to keep reading. The things that I’m about to write apply to humans in nearly every context of the world.

First off, I don’t believe that the fear some people are dealing with is about this election alone. Many pre-existing wounds of our country have been brought to light in this election, which I believe has created a general atmosphere of fear and distrust. Racially, it seems we’ve hit an all time low that we haven’t seen in decades. Every day that I go to my college classes, I see racial segregation in a way that is both shocking and disheartening. I hear racist comments on a regular basis—people who are literally putting another person down based on the color of their skin. There seems to be a growing insensitively to the feelings and humanity of others, in race, ethnicity, gender, political affiliation, etc. etc. etc.

Second, I believe that we need to do a better job at listening as a country. Stemming off of our general problem of division, we also are not listening to the concerns of others as a population. The Right is catering to concerns about religious freedom and the sanctity of life. The Left is catering to concerns about racial and gender equality. I believe we need all of these things in order to flourish as a society and human race. But, rather than listening to the concerns and fears of people with different concerns than our own, we often villainize them. As a whole, people generally resort to stereotypes rather than risk hearing a real person and their stories and scars. If we’re going to move forward as a country and/or human race, we need to do a better job at listening and caring about the concerns of others—even if they do not directly affect us. 

Thirdly, it is up to us as Christians to continue to be a light. Let’s face it, Christians seem to be put in a worse light every day. I believe this is partly the result of living in a corrupt world, but in some cases, we have been to blame, and we must try to do better. As God’s representatives here on earth, it’s our job to show people what God’s love looks like. How can we live out God’s command to “Seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our Lord“? I believe it starts with looking to God and the Bible for guidance. Elections happen once a year, and soon this chaos will be over, but we have a year-long job to show people Jesus’ love. We need to be intentional about encouraging justice.

In order to be Biblical and consistent, we must stand for the lives of the unborn and for the lives of those affected by police brutality.

We must stand for God in the public square and stand up for the rights of those who have been affected by sexual harassment.

We must stand for Biblical ethics and stand for the poor and the homeless.

Just as we have representation in America, we are the representation for something much bigger. We are the representations of God almighty, called to be a light and shine for truth, justice, and mercy. 

How we will we live out that representation? 

How will we, as Christians in the 21st century, be remembered? 

 

Vlog #3: My Testimony

Courtney4 Comments

Hey guys – I just did a Vlog on my testimony! I’ve talked about my story in bits and pieces on this blog, but in the video, I discuss the whole thing chronologically. I hope y’all find it encouraging and inspiring!😊

https://splice.gopro.com/v?id=PpVRb00pO

 

Diary Of A Christian College Student: Chapter Five

Courtney7 Comments

Hey everyone, sorry this is late! My life has been pretty crazy, but I promise to try to be more consistent. I hope you enjoy part five of my story! 

* * *

Dear Diary,

That following Friday, I had to force myself out of bed—still worn out from my sleepover on Friday.

“Be quiet.” I mummer, as my alarm beeped relentlessly.

Don’t get me wrong—I love going to church. But lately, between the sleep deprivation of late night study sessions and my sleepover, I felt like I couldn’t sleep in long enough.

“OK, I’m moving.” I finally said, as my clock continued to beep. I slammed my hand on the off button and forced myself to sit up. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, picked out something to wear, and headed out the door, my little sister having about ten times more energy than me.

“Olivia, you look like a zombie.” My sister Elsie commented.

“I know” I admitted, walking out the door with my family.

With that, I headed into my car and followed behind my parents to our Grace Church—a familiar church that we’ve been attending since I was a kid. Usually, I ride with them, but today I decided it might be good to follow behind and have some time to myself to think. The road to Grace Church wasn’t super congested and it was a pretty easy drive, so it driving down the long dirt paved roads gave me a chance to reflect on my week.

How is it that I was having such a hard time adjusting to college—I’ve always liked school, and done well in it. I’ve never had a teacher who disliked me before, but for some reason, I get the vibe that my english teacher does. And my english teacher, of all people! English lit has always been my favorite subject—I love writing and I’ve been told that I can do it pretty well. Why does this teacher seem to have it out for me?

Even more frustrating was the fact that I’ve been looking forward to college since I was little. I always thought it would be an exciting experience—one where I’d be challenged in ways that would help me become the successful career women I’ve always dreamed of being.

But I never dreamed it would have been this much of a challenge.

Finally, after following my parents through the backroads to our humble little church, we arrived in the parking lot. And, As I climbed out of my car, I began to feel myself breath again. There was something familiar and comforting about being at church. The environment felt warm and homey—completely different from the cold environment of college life.

I walked in with my parents and Elsie and found our old familiar seat as the band began to practice. They were playing an old Newsboys song that I recognized from the Christian radio station—Your Love Never Fails. I felt myself get lost in the music until before I knew it, it was time for church to start.

The message was applicable, about how there is a season for everything and how some seasons test us—revealing our true colors in all of their hues. I folded my hands on the cover of my Bible and listened intently. It was as if the Holy Spirit was trying to catch me attention in this moment.

After church, I heard a voice from behind me. “Hey!”

I turned around to see the worship leader’s wife, Ms. Kerrie.

I smiled, grateful for another familiar face. “Hey Ms. Kerrie.”

“Hey Olivia, how have you been?”

“Ok…” I hesitated, forcing a grin. “First week of college.”

“Really? That’s great! How’s it going?”

I could have glossed over it in the moment. I could have answered with a simple fine, but somehow I knew she’d see right through it.

I shrugged. “It’s an adjustment. It’s sort of a different world than what I’m used to.”

“I bet.” She agreed. “I remember college—a lot of changes, huh?”

“Definitely.”

“You know,” she began. “If you ever want to talk, I’d be happy to meet with you one day. I remember college—it can be a confusing time in your life—trying to figure out who you are and where you’re going in life.”

“Sure,” I began. “I’d love to talk sometime.”

“Great. I’ll give you my number and maybe we can plan a day this week?”

“Yeah.” I agreed, feeling like perhaps this was a sign.

 Maybe God really does still have his hand on my life in the midst of this new season. 

“That would be great.”

With that, we exchanged numbers and planned a day to meet for lunch. And, with that, I felt a good feeling begin to wash over me. Deep down, I felt myself remembering something that I’ve known all along.

God is bigger than any university. 

I can handle this.

When You Go Through Trials (Part Two)

Courtney5 Comments

Our Christian walk cannot be free of trials, for we ought to grow and trials are the exams we write in order to get promoted to a different level.

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As a baby grows and starts crawling, it gets to a time that he has to begin taking steps if he wants to walk. The baby does not get to stand on his feet firmly without having to go through some pains, pains that result from trying to get up from the floor. The countless times the baby falls does not prevent him from standing up again the next moment the need arises. That persevering I can do spirit, we all must learn from babies.

No progress will be made until you begin to face your fears and as you go through the process don’t be in a hurry to get out because gradually allowing the process to have its way will get you desired results. When your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.

So in my previous message on when you go through trials, I made mention of the fact that when it is time for a student to be elevated from one level to the other, he must write and pass a test and in the exam room the teacher is always silent because it is illegal to speak to the student no matter the kind of relationship existing between them.

But as we all know to every rule there is an exception and so hear this,

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5 (NIV)

In other words, the bible says that you have been given all the information (knowledge) you need to write and pass our exam (trial) but if for any reason there is too much information at your disposal and are confused as to which one to use in answering specific questions in the test…

God says that there is an exception even though I am not supposed to talk to you during exams.

So if you don’t know what your teacher requires for a particular question as an answer because you have so much information and it’s difficult to summarize it leaving you confused, He says that I am giving you the opportunity to ask me what I require of you and I will freely give you wisdom which is the application of information (knowledge) at the right time in the right season.

So verse 5 of James chapter 1, comes with a condition, it is that your head must not be empty, because if your head is empty you cannot use wisdom when given to you. Wisdom cannot be independent of knowledge and yes, wisdom is the application of knowledge.

Has it ever occurred to you after writing an exam and upon receiving the test result script, you realized that there are some questions you didn’t answer so well but because the general idea was there the teacher considered and gave you the mark?

We often are encouraged to attempt all questions in an exam. Who knows the teacher might have compassion on you and help you get the answer he wants when he sees that you are on the right path.

But the fact that we are asked to answer all questions doesn’t mean that produce chaff. That would even upset the teacher and to some extent affect your grade because you have created the impression that there is nothing sensible in your head.

So how then can we attempt all questions in an exam and make sure that our attempts are meaningful?

It is only by having a wide range of information (knowledge) and this obtained by soaking yourself in books and in areas where the right information can be found.

So remember my dear friend to soak yourself in the authentic book that can equip you for any kind of exam in your life which is the Holy bible, the Engrafted word of the living God.

2 Timothy 2:15

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

God bless you.

Prayer

Father in the name of Jesus, thank you for this day, the gift of life and this message. I pray that you will forgive me of my sins as I forgive those who wrong me. Dear God I ask for divine wisdom to deal with every situation in my life and that of others, I want to do things your way and not my way for your ways are always straight. Thank you Father for answering my prayer in Jesus name, Amen.

When You Go Through Trials (Part One)

Courtney2 Comments

Hey everyone, sorry I’ve been a little late on the Diary Of A Christian College Student saga. I haven’t forgotten about it – I promise! Life been crazy for me and I promise to resume to it soon. Nonetheless, in the meantime, I have two articles by my friend Papberry that I’d like to share with you! I found them very relatable and encouraging and I believe you will too. 

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Our Christian journey cannot be free of trials, we need trials to grow and to move out of our comfort zone into a place where we will start thinking outside the box we have fixed ourselves into.

Now let us take the relationship we have with Christ as that between a student and a teacher and learn something out of it.

You will bear with me that a very obedient student who tries his possible best to excel at all he does is liked by all. Even if his strength is not sufficient for certain tasks he readily gets help because everyone knows him to be hardworking.

Now in the classroom, the teacher is supposed to meet the needs of every student and therefore it is also the duty of the student to pay attention and take notes so that in time of need he can refresh his memory with the notes taken. If there is something the student does not understand whiles the teacher is still teaching, he must draw the attention of the teacher so that he will receive immediate attention. But if the student goes home and realizes that he did not really understand what was taught, then he must look for someone who is higher in understanding so that he will help him understand what baffles him.

We know that before a student gets promoted to a different level or stage, he must undergo a test to prove that all or at least a high percentage of what he was taught has been assimilated well. One thing we find interesting here is that no matter how close a student is to the teacher, in the test room, he cannot speak to the teacher and vice versa, the best the teacher can do is to smile at the student. During the test period the teacher trusts his students to pass the test because he knows his strength and has set questions based on that, it is only a wicked teacher who will set a test based on what he hasn’t taught hoping the students fail.

At the end of the test the students who passes makes the teacher proud and exceptional cases are when brilliant students who are expected to do better fall below the mark, when this happens the teacher gets disappointed but then, he moves on to call the student and ask why that happened so to encourage that person to put all weight aside and continue working hard because his future depends on it, the student is encouraged and his faith also shoots up, when this happens, he resumes to the person everyone knows him to be.

This is what our relationship with Christ is like, one will say I feel dejected now that I am going through crises, I feel Christ far away from me and he doesn’t even talk to me anymore. Note, that the teacher is always silent during a test. When you are faced with difficult situations and nothing seem to be working well for you as a Christian, know that you are due for promotion, so just focus on passing that test.

Know that you are in the test room and according to 1 Corinthians 10:13 you will not be tested beyond what you have not been taught. Also know that whatever thing that you are going through Christ is smiling at you because He trusts you, as His brilliant, hardworking student, who has been prepared well enough to pass the test you are undertaking that very moment.

Keep this in mind, God will always wins no matter what! So do not fear or be bothered when the storms seem to overshadow you, trust the process and you will surely come out victoriously.

Prayer

Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for the gift of life. Please forgive my errors and make my ways straight. I pray that you will give me a personal revelation on this word so I will understand it better. I know that all things are working for my good therefore help me to trust you against all odds. Help me so that I do not end up disappointing you, I do admit that I am weak and that my strength can do nothing but with you I can do all things, cause a leap in my faith in you, and help me dwell in your secret place always. Thank you Lord for hearing me in Jesus’s name have I prayed, Amen.

Sunshine Blogger Award

Courtney8 Comments

Good news everyone, I just got nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by Juni Desiree from Sapphire Life Writer! Her blog is awesome and I would totally recommend checking it out!

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who are positive and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere.

Here are the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you
Answer the questions from the person who has nominated you
Nominate 11 other bloggers for this award
Write the same amount of questions for the bloggers you have nominated
Notify the bloggers you nominated

Now, without further ado…The Questions! 

What has been the greatest lesson you’ve learnt in your life?

I’ve honestly learned a lot of things over the course of my life, but the biggest one would probably be to trust God. As I wrote about in a recent post, I struggle with wanting everything to happen my way and in my time. Nonetheless, I’ve found that when you trust God, he can make even your craziest dreams come true in a way that’s better than you ever could have imagined. And, when he closes a door, there’s probably a really good reason.
What song has impacted you the most and why?

Hmm, this is another hard one, but I’d have to say Ready Or Not by Britt Nicole. I first heard it in the 9th grade and at the time, I was pretty shy and still searching for myself. Her song encouraged me to live confidently and not be afraid to speak up and let my light shine for God. Her other songs have also been really encouraging and her albums were pretty much the soundtrack of my high school years.
What movie has impacted you the most and why?

At different points in my life, different movies have impacted me. In middle school, my favorite movies were Soul Surfer and The Left Behind movies, because they encouraged me in my faith. I was a new Christian in middle school and movies like those helped me to solidify my faith. In my freshman year of high school, I saw the movie Lemonade Mouth for the first time, which encouraged me to use my voice and be more confident. Currently, I’d have to say the God’s Not Dead movies, as they all speak about being a Christian in a non-Christian environment, something that I’m experiencing for the first time this year.
What book has impacted you the most and why?

There are a lot of books I could mention here, but I’m going to go with the Sunday School answer: The Bible. The Bible is sort of my manual in doing this thing we call life. Because it has so many accounts and so many different lessons, different parts of it relate to me at different points in my life. Recently, I was talking with my pastor’s wife and she noted that my situation with college was a little like Daniel in the king’s palace. I had never thought of it that way before, but I now find that account relatable in my own life. I have also been leaning heavily into passages about being “strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9) and “trusting in the Lord” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
What quote do you resonate most with?

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” – C.S. Lewis. There are a lot of quotes that I like, but as I’ve grown in my faith, I feel this one to be more and more true every day. My faith informs so much for me that to take it out would leave my life a fragmented mess. It informs everything from my dreams, to my views, to my perception of life itself. It is also the common thread that ties otherwise very different personalities and lives together – something I find very cool.

What are your 10 most important core values?

  1. Faith in God
  2. Respect and love for people
  3. Staying true to myself
  4. A good work ethic
  5. The importance of family and friends
  6. Having a purpose in life
  7. Loyalty
  8. Courage
  9. Helping those in need
  10. Living out my faith

How can you most help others best at this time in your life?

Probably through helping out at different charity organizations and donating to charities like Salvation Army and Operation Christmas Child (Yes, my mind is already on Christmas).
If you could only write one book in your life and were guaranteed to succeed in it, what would you write?

I truly wish this said series, but since it’s saying only one book, I’m going to have to say the first book of a series that I’m writing. I don’t want to say too much about it online before it’s published (Hopefully by the end of my college career) but it’s about a group of teenagers at a local church youth group and how their lives impact one and other. I’ve already finished the first book, and I managed to incorporate some of my core values into it and tell a story that I believe will inspire people. It’s my dream to see it on a bookshelf one day.
What do you want to be known for?

The short answer is, I want to be known for sharing my faith with others and inspiring others to live confidently in Christ. When people know God and live for Him through their own lives, personalities, and situations, amazing things can happen. The more technical answer is that I want to be a writer. My goal is to go into professional journalism, become a successful author, and publish my song lyrics (I’ve already written a lot). I want to leave my mark through writing things that will inspire others and make the world a better place.
And taking this opportunity to possibly get some help with the book I’m working on: what message of encouragement would you give to survivors of sexual abuse?

Your life is worth living. You were not created for someone else’s pleasure at your expense. You were created to do big things and God isn’t finished with you yet. He has a purpose in your life, and you have to keep moving forward. What happened wasn’t your fault – you were a victim. But, you won’t always be a victim. You can and will rise above this.

Now, the new nominees are

Saved By Grace 2009

Dainty M. 

Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Nora Elkins 

Julian For Jesus 

Passion and Pixels 

Concealed Foundation 

Papberry 

Mandie’s World  

Ever Changing In Christ Jesus 

Unfiltered Freckles 

And the new questions are…

  1. What is your testimony? How did you find God, or if you were raised Christian, when did it really feel real for you? 
  2. What has God been teaching you lately? 
  3. What is your biggest dream? 
  4. What is one quirk you have that you don’t mind sharing? 
  5. Where do you see yourself five years from now? 
  6. What do you believe the purpose of life is? 
  7. What is one piece of advice would you give your younger self? 
  8. What has 2016 been characterized by for you? What things stand out about this year? 
  9. What was your hometown or the city you grew up in like? 
  10. What have those closest to you taught you about life? 
  11. What was a defining moment for you? 

 

Diary Of A Christian College Student: Chapter Four

Courtney10 Comments

Hey everyone, sorry it’s a little late! I was pretty tired on Sunday and on Monday I was out most of the day! Nonetheless, I finally finished part four of my ongoing series! 

 * * *

Dear Diary,

“I can’t believe we survived our first week of college.” My best friend Dana said, at the beginning of our sleepover on Friday night.

“Me neither.” I groaned, remembering the details of my week—particularly the remark my English teach made on the first day of class. “I am so ready for the weekend.”

“Me too.” Dana agreed, rolling over so she was face-down on the pillow. “I’m beat.”

“How were your classes?” I asked, trying to communicate with my friend who looked dead-to-the-land-of-the-living. “I feel like we’ve hardly had a chance to talk since Monday.”

“Pretty good. I wish I had a class with someone I knew though.”

“Yeah, me too.” I agreed, leaning against a pile of pillows that had been thrown carelessly onto the ground.

Dana sat up and grinned. “I think I know who you wish was in your classes.”

I rolled my eyes. “Here we go again.”

“Come on, we both know you like him.” She teased, something that was typical in our girl-talks.

“It’s just a crush.” I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “No big deal. Besides, you liked Benjamin for a while.”

“Not anymore.” She scrunched up her face. “There’s no future there.”

“I still don’t know how you rationalized your way out of it.” I said, still in awe at my friend’s ability to get over a guy simply by using the old trick of self-talk.

“I don’t know how you’ve had a three year long crush and managed to stay sane.”

“Valid point.” I admitted.

“So do you think it’s mutual?” Dana asked. “Do you think he likes you back?”

“I don’t know.” I said, sighing more dramatically then the moment called for. “Who knows what goes on inside of guys’ heads? I’m not going to drive myself crazy over it.”

Dana laughed. “Alright, I won’t drill you.”

“Thank you.” I grinned, emerging from the mess of pillows. “How about you, any new guys in your college classes?”

“Not really.” Dana said, making a face. “I mean, there are some that are kind of cute, but I have to get to know their personality before I can tell.”

“Gotcha.” I nodded. “Yeah, I’m the same way.”

“So how is your English class going? Your teacher for that period sounds pretty rough.”

“Mrs. Manchester.” I said, letting out a slight grown. “A little better since the first day, but she’s kind of cold. Nothing like our teachers back at Holy Cross.”

“I’m sorry. Most of my teachers are pretty OK, except my science class is sort of killing me.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Just the evolution stuff. The worldview is very different.”

“I’m sure.” I nodded empathetically.

“The scary thing is, the way they word it, it almost sounds convincing.” Dana admitted, her hazel eyes holding a note of uncertainty as she clutched a pillow to her chest. “I mean, they make it sound so scientific and factual.”

“Well, that is sort of their job. If they didn’t sound convincing about what they were teaching, they’d be pretty bad teachers, wouldn’t they?”

“I guess.” She admitted. “It’s just different than I expected, that’s all.”

“It’s not ‘Saved By The Bell: The College Years’, huh?”

“Not even close.” She agreed, laughing at my 90s reference.

“We’ll get through this.” I said, trying to remember a Bible verse that would help us have peace about college, and the new stage of life we were entering into. “We just have to be trust God, and not our own understanding of things. Right now, college looks pretty crazy, but God has a purpose in all of this.”

Dana smiled and sat up, as if she had gained the strength she was missing from my paraphrase of Proverbs 3:5-6. “You’re right Liv. We’ve got this.”

“And we’ve always got each other.” I reminded her. “And Nathan and TJ.”

“The squad.” She joked.

“Yup, the squad.”

“And your future husband.” She added in a sing-song voice.

“Don’t start again.” I rolled my eyes, tossing a pillow her way.

The rest of the night, we watched movies, made cookies, and had your typical all-American sleepover. Nonetheless, my words remained in my mind throughout the night.

Trust God and don’t rely on your own understanding of things.

Those might just very well be the words that will carry me through all of this.

God has a plan, even when I don’t—and it’s times like these when we’re called to lean on Him the most.

And He will direction our path.

Whatever that may be.

In Dependence

Courtney13 Comments

I have a confession to make: 

I’m a recovering independent. 

From the time I was a little girl, I’ve always been determined to rely on myself and never, ever ask for help with anything. I had four favorite words as a child—always in the same order.

“I’ll do it myself.” 

As I’ve gotten older, this symptom has only seemed to grow more severe.

Perhaps it’s a by-product of the thousands of self-help/self empowerment messages I’ve absorbed over my lifetime, an extremely perfectionistic personality, or the fear of depending on others. More than likely, it’s a combination of all of the above. Sometimes, this translates into positive character traits such as a good work ethic and healthy sense of independence. Other times, my self-relience becomes a vice. It can cause me to become stubborn, avoiding asking for help—even from the One who we’re called to lean on in times of need.

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This year, I feel like God is slowly trying to break this vice, helping me to rely more on Him and less on myself. Most of you know that this is my first year of college, but one thing that some of you may not know is that I was homeschooled K-12.

I wasn’t anti-social, sheltered, or otherwise freakish during my school years, but prior to 2016, I was in classes where the majority of my classmates shared my faith. I still saw and dealt with many of the same struggles that people in public/private schools deal with, but I was accustomed to being surrounded by fellow believers in my homeschool classes (Yes, many homeschoolers do take classes outside of the house). I had what many people would consider a “small town experience”. I knew most of my teachers before I took classes with them and grew up with a lot of the same kids all the way through school.

Oftentimes, I took the comforts of familiarity for granted, not realizing how comfortable I have become in the same building, with the same students for so many years. Now, I barely know anyone at college and I’m in a secular environment for the first time.

The rug of familiarity has been pulled out from underneath me.

Nonetheless, through all of this, I believe that God is trying to make me stronger and more reliant on Him. No longer can I depend on myself, familiarity, or the comfort of being surrounded by fellow Christians. When I’m alone and uncertain at college, I have to depend solely on God – trusting that He’ll give me the strength I need to get through the day. 

To quote Julian, a fellow blogger friend, I need to “Frog it“—in other words, Fully Rely On God. There are times that we can’t fully rely on ourself in this world. In a world where Christians are becoming more the minority every day, crime and death runs rampant, and a thousand choices lay before our eyes, we need to keep our eyes on one thing and one thing only—Jesus. He’s the only one big enough to help us through all of life’s ups and downs.

If you’re also a recovering independent, I urge you to sink into Jesus and give Him the steering wheel. It may be scary, but in the end, He’s the one that can sustain us and carry us through this rapidly spinning world. We need Him in every breath and every moment.

We need to FROG it, fully relying on a God who knows us in our weakness and strength, our doubt and confidence, and every moment of our life. God has entrusted us with this life that we’re living. 

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The question that we have to answer is this: Will we trust God? 

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
    who draws strength from mere flesh
    and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
    they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
    in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Diary Of A Christian College Student: Chapter Three

Courtney9 Comments

Dear Diary,

They say there’s a season for everything.

A time to laugh, and a time to cry.

A time to be born, and a time to die.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh

A time to mourn, and a time to dance.*

In high school, it was a time of everything predictable. I’ve been around pretty much the same people since grade school. I knew the hallways as well as I knew my own home. I alternated between ordering the same three meals every day at lunch. It was a time when we were not-quite-kids and not-quite-adults. It may have had it’s confusions, but movies told us what to expect. It was a time of finding ourselves, a time for developing lifelong friendships, and a time for feeling things intensely, as if for the first time.

College, on the other hand, is a time of change. Nothing is the same anymore.

The hallways feel a million miles away from the halls of Holy Cross high school—cold and sterile. Lacking any sense of familiarity. With the exception of Dana, Nathan, and TJ, I haven’t spotted one familiar face. I may not have been friends with everyone at my old school, and it may have had it’s share of cliquey-ness and cattiness, but I could tell you the name of nearly every kid I passed in the hallways. These were kids that I went to school with from kindergarten to 12th grade. I knew what to expect. Now, it’s like a whole other culture.

On my first day here, I heard the F-Bomb dropped about ten times, in the presence of our professors. Sure, some of the students cursed at Holy Cross – that’s to be expected nearly everywhere. But never words like that, and never in the presence of teachers. If one of the adults at Holy Cross heard one of the students talking like that, they would have sent them on their way to the principal’s office in a second. The rules were strict and pretty obvious as to what you could-and-couldn’t get away with there.

Not to mention that there were about as many different kinds of lifestyles and beliefs among the students as there were students themselves. No longer were there moral absolutes – things that everyone knew to wrong. Things that were scandalous and gossiped about at Holy Cross were spoken about in broad daylight at Westside Oak. Nothing was off limits.

Perhaps the strangest thing was the student-teacher interactions. At Holy Cross, my teachers knew the name of every student in their classroom. They all shared a common faith and I could look to them not only as teachers – but as mentors and role models. Most of them were kind and seemed like they really wanted to be there, desiring to help each of us live up to our potential. As hardworking student who put her all into her work, I got along with nearly all of my teachers. Even instructors who taught subjects I struggled in were patient and happy to help me understand concepts that were difficult to me. Now, I’m lucky if my teachers even know my name.

One teacher in particular seems ready to stand in the face of all I believe in. My college english teacher asked on the first day who was Christian. Slowly but surely, I raised my hand, along with a handful of other students, uncertain of what she was doing.

“Alright.” She said, looking as if it was anything but alright. “You have your faith – that’s fine. But, in this class, I hope this won’t hinder you from being open minded to the reading material. We’re going to be reading a lot of different viewpoints. Not all of them will be consistent with fundamentalism. Most of them won’t be.”

Already uncomfortable with the way she was referring to my faith, I shifted in my seat, trying to figure out what she meant by that. She than went on to explain class procedure, as if to distract from that weird paragraph she just uttered. Finally, she handed us our first assignment – a short academic essay. My stomach churned as I read it – an explicit reflection an erotic encounter.

Was this really allowed in a classroom? Could they hand out something so full of filth to the students without any consequences? There was no way I would ever pick up something like this on my own, yet here I was, stuck reading it in school – of all places! I guess the shock on my face showed, as I stared blankly at the writing, because my teacher soon walked over to my desk.

“Ms. Bennett, are you doing alright there?”

I glanced up, trying to look less uncomfortable than I felt. I nodded my head quickly, hoping this moment would soon fade to the past. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Alright, I just want to make sure you can handle this class – that it’s not to hard for you.”

My face burned with frustration. Too hard for me? I was an AP student in my high school and made straight A’s in all four years of English! My dream was to become a journalist and write professionally. This was not “too hard” for me.

Although I suspected that she had a very different meaning in her words. It was a challenge; a dare.

A challenge I was willing to accept.

There’s no way I’m dropping there’s class now. I’m not going to prove my teacher right – that I can’t handle this. After all, I’ve always been a strong person. Right?

“No, it’s not too hard for me. I’m fine.”

I had just told my teacher that I could indeed handle this – no matter how horrible it may be. I told her I was strong enough to do it, even though it’s possible that my answer stemmed more from pride. I had made my declaration. I was strong and capable.

The only question was, did I believe it myself?

*Ecclesiastes 3