Tag: Blogger

Enneagram Series: Sarah’s Story As An Enneagram Nine

Courtney1 Comment
Hey everyone,
I have some pretty big news today! My good friend Sarah Gittens has graciously agreed to contribute to my series on the Enneagram and she has shared below what it is like to be an Enneagram Nine!
Sarah was one of the first friends that I met at my church and she is without a doubt one of the sweetest, wisest, and most genuine souls you could ever care to meet. She is also low-key an expert on all things Enneagram—making her the perfect person to help me out with this series! So without further ado, here is Sarah’s post!
* * * * *
What do you want?
I’m guessing the vast majority of you have an immediate response. 1) A latte to wake up. 2) A life partner to wake up with. 3) A raise or a new job. 4) A better phone or 5) A new pair of jeans that make your butt look good. 6) All of the above. I’m quite certain that most of you can answer, without hesitation, regardless of how you approach the question.
If you’re a nine, you most likely paused. You probably thought about what the person is really asking. Considered all possible answers and the various outcomes of those answers that would fall on the ears of anyone listening. You’ve wondered how vulnerable you can be or even want to be. You’ve wondered how it would make them feel? How they might respond? How will it impact this moment or future moments? You may even have an answer but instead:
Image result for your presence matters

 

*Responds to a question with a question
“I don’t really know.”
“I’m good with whatever.”
[insert whatever you think is safe to say]
As a nine, I am easy going, generally content, interested, happy to listen, patient, a day dreamer, accepting, a natural mediator, passionate, and I value others. I am also avoidant, people pleasing, procrastinating and have lived most of my life unaware of my inability to value one person: myself.
The truth? I DO know what I want. The problem? The answer has always been buried by a million thoughts of what you and you and you want. Does what you want clash with what I want? How would you feel? Would you feel insecure, happy for me, upset with me or jealous? How would you respond? Would you judge me, be kind or discard me? We know what we want.. but what we want has become lost or buried.
We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity.
When I started reading the above paragraph, I loved it. When I hit the last sentence I hated it. I hated it because I knew it was true. When I went away to college, I realized I didn’t know myself and I spent the next several years trying to find who I was, what I liked, and why I liked it. I didn’t realize how often I stayed silent and when I did speak up I said things I heard rather than believed or felt. I was in there, but I had fallen asleep. I thought I had made so much progress and maybe in certain areas I had…
Awakening. This is how I would describe the time since I learned I was a nine in July of 2018. The enneagram reminded me that I matter and yes, I know I matter. I have grown up in church. I know Jesus loves me. I can quote Psalm 139. I can tell you with tremendous conviction that YOU matter, YOU are loved, and YOU are believed in. I know I matter but do I know? Do I believe it?
We will always be a work in progress, but asking myself what I want has been both liberating and terrifying. It has made me more vulnerable to the negative emotions that accompany disappointment, but has also been a catalyst for practicing genuine gratitude. My ability to reframe negative situations into positive emotions is a wonderful gift, but too often I settled for a facade of peace. I settled for the background [of my own life] even though I matter [as much as the next person] to receive love, be seen, and achieve success. Courage may look a bit different for everyone, but for me, it has been actively believing and praying for things I had let die, fade or been too afraid to want.
I don’t think I’ll ever possess the natural self confidence I admire in others. I used to want it. I tried to emulate it. However, I’ve noticed that my motivation has never been from a place of self confidence (because it never actually comes), but I will act from a place of conviction. In the midst of all this self reflection is a realization that I need to believe I matter and have value. A knowledge won’t suffice, rather I need that seed of truth to take root. It is in this truth, “I matter,” that this 9w1 day dreamer is free to hope again. Free from the weight of doing or being what others expect. Free to ask herself, “what do I want?”
To [me and] my fellow 9s: You can be happy even when others aren’t happy for you, because your happiness matters. You can be upset when you’re mistreated, because your feelings matter. You can speak up, because your thoughts, opinions and the many perspectives you effortlessly see all matter. You do not have to hide or diminish for the benefit of anyone else because your presence matters. Actually, we benefit when you don’t hide. We benefit when you speak up. We shine better when you shine. You are not selfish for wanting anything, because you matter. So tell us, what do you want?

If you know your Enneagram number, and would like to contribute a post for this series, please contact me at courtneymwhitaker@gmail.com or shoot me a DM @authorcourtney1 on Instagram. I can’t wait to hear your stories

Poetry

Courtney2 Comments

Hey everyone,

It’s been a bit of a crazy week for me. I’ve had a lot going on and admittedly, I haven’t had a lot of time to plan this week’s post.

So, rather than the usual, I decided to post some poems that I’ve been working on. I hope you like them – and depending on the response that I get from this, I might decide to post more in the future!

So without further ado, here are the poems!

 

Through It All 

I still remember the moment

I was still so young and frail

When I first heard the Gospel message

When I surrendered to His will 

 

A girl, only nine years old 

Praying for a broken home 

A girl, only nine years old

That was when I learned that I’m not alone 

 

There I was alone in my room 

Praying for change to come 

There I was sitting in darkness 

Praying for God’s will to be done

 

Two years later, my prayers came to pass

And there I was, standing in church with my family at last 

For the first time ever, I knew the power of God, so clearly I could feel

That Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, really was truly real 

 

Through my teenage years 

And all of my fears 

And growing and living life 

Through the ups and downs 

My life turned around 

Because He showed me His love and light 

 

Through finding my voice 

And all of the noise 

And times I wouldn’t want relive

Through every high and low 

Through the midnight snow 

He has always been my friend 

 

So this is the tale that I live to tell 

A story of triumph over pain 

Of my God above who rescued me with love

All to bring glory to His name 

 

Life 

Life is a funny thing

The way that we come and go 

It’s an adventure waiting to happen

And a journey to behold 

 

We start as small children, young and anxious to explore 

We wind up eventually with a new beginning

Knocking at our door 

 

But it’s the time in between that we remember 

Filled with choices, love, and hope

It’s the time in between that we remember

As we change, and learn, and grow 

 

Where our life touches another, and it creates a ripple effect

Where our lives touch each other 

None of us are autonomous 

 

Because we are all a tapestry

Created for something more 

We are all woven together 

Created for our Savior and Lord 

 

This is life

This is our story 

We cannot do it alone 

 

This is living—and it means giving

Of our heart and of our soul 

 

In this moment, we are alive 

 

In this moment, we are breathing 

 

May we never never waste it

 

Instead, let us always choose to embrace it

 

Freefall 

People say that life is many things 

They say that it’s short and fleeting 

That it’s a box of chocolates, or that it’s simply contemplating 

 

They say it’s a dream, a journey, and hope

Others think it means just holding on to the end of your rope 

 

But sometimes, it can be neither, sometimes it can be all 

Sometimes, when you’re living, and walking this pilgrimage, life is a free-fall 

You think you’re going one way, and than suddenly your life turns around 

Sometimes, this is what it means when you’re following the Spirit’s sound

 

The crazy moments beyond belief 

That are completely out of your control 

The joys and heartaches that we face, both the young and the old 

 

But to live is Christ 

The Author of it all

That is why we call it the freefall 

 

Because you’re falling, faster, harder

In the greatest, possible way 

You’re falling harder upward 

Into our Father’s embrace 

 

Living life isn’t safe 

It was never want to be 

But sometimes, it can still be wonderful

In the midst of an unexpected sea 

 

So here I finish my philosophical muse

About life, and death, and between 

The joys, the laughter, the beauty of it all 

When we dare to live in the freefall 

 

Stars 

Do you see the stars, rising high above, lighting up the night

That shine down on us, to give a warming light 

Do you see the galaxies, up there, resting high above?

The painting, the masterpiece, of our Creator’s love?

 

They sit in the sky as reminders 

To shine brightly in the dark

And they sparkle down as a reminder  

That they’re always the same no matter where we are 

 

They connect every heart 

Under the same big sky 

Telling us that there’s a way home

For the one and ninety-nine

 

Because they point back to what’s real 

What exists in Heaven above 

They point us towards something greater 

To an everlasting love 

 

But there is one that is greater

Than every star up above 

The One who Created them all 

And He’s someone we can speak to 

In every valley and behind every wall 

 

So next time you see them remember 

To send up a prayer above

Not to the stars, but to their Creator 

Who loves us with a perfect love. 

 

If you have any suggestions for future poetry topics or a future post feel free to post them in the comments section below! I always love hearing your input! 

Twenty Lessons for Twenty Years

Courtney8 Comments

So…today is the big day. My twentieth birthday. 

And if I’m totally honest, I feel no different than I did yesterday.

Nonetheless, in the tradition of posting a blog-per-birthday, I decided to write about twenty things that I’ve learned over the last twenty years.

And I hope you enjoy reading them!

  1. Trust God – I know that I used this one last year, but it is still so relevant! Every year life changes, and we are faced with new challenges, trials, and oppositions. Nonetheless, in the midst of this God is always constant. He was, and is and is to come (Revelations 1:8) and He never changes or acts inconsistently. Through all of life’s trials, we can always turn to Him for guidance and direction.
  2. Hold onto your true friends – As we go throughout life, it’s likely that we’re going to meet tons of people. Some are going to enter our lives and some are going to exit. Nonetheless, through all of this it is so important that we keep our true friends close! Friends are hard to come by, and when you come across the ones that will stand by you no matter what, don’t let them go! They’re one of life’s rare gems.
  3. Stay true to yourself – God has crafted each one of us into something unique and special. We were all created with innate worth and potential. And, in a world where everyone is trying so hard to fit in, it is so much better to stand out – making the choice everyday to be true yourself and live your life with confidence in Christ!
  4. Stay close to family – The older you get, the more you realize how important your family really is – and how short of a time that you have with them. Make the most of the time that you have with your parents, grandparents, and relatives. More than likely, they have a lot of wisdom that they’ve obtained over the course of their lives – and they’ll always be your biggest cheerleaders!
  5. Appreciate the small moments – Because one day, those small moments will be big moments.
  6. Chase your dreams – In the words of a song by 33 Miles, “You only get just one time around, you only get one shot at this…one try, one ride, one life.” Don’t be afraid to make this life everything that you want to to be – and go after your goals with the confidence that you can achieve them.
  7. Working hard pays off – Sometimes, hard work isn’t easy or fun in the moment, but it pays off in the long run. Put your all into every project, every job, and every assignment that comes your way. I promise you won’t regret it!
  8. Make a difference – Every day we are given the chance to make a difference in someone’s life – no matter how small it might seem. Don’t waste the opportunities that God has given you to be a light for Him, and make someone’s day a little brighter.
  9. Hard times never last forever – Each one of is going to face trials and tribulations in this life. It’s part of living in a fallen world. But we’ve all been there, and it will get easier. Don’t forget to reach out to God, family, and friends during these times. Sometimes, we all need to ask for help, and we all need somebody to talk to.
  10. Don’t be ashamed to rest – None of us were made to keep going 24/7. There’s nothing wrong with resting, and taking a break after a day of hard work. We all need rest sometimes, so we’re refreshed to keep going in our daily lives and tasks.
  11. Life is more than the things you post – In the modern world, it can be so tempting to constantly be on the lookout for opportunities to post a picture on Instagram, or a quote on Twitter, but life is so much more than that. Don’t forget to live in the moment, and forget about your social media for a little while.
  12. Age is just a number – Sometimes, once you get into your teens, birthdays can get a little scary. You’re faced with the realization that you’re getting older, and you have a lot of life decisions ahead of you. But sometimes, it’s best not to focus on the number, and just do what you need to do each day, which brings me to my next point…
  13. Take one day at a time – Jesus actually gives this same piece of advice in Matthew 6:34. He says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” If you take one day at a time, life becomes a lot easier to handle.
  14. Find something that you love to do – For me, hobbies have always been a great way to relax and have fun. They help us to de-stress from the responsibilities of the day and give us an outlet to pour our energy into. Personally, my main hobby is writing—but for you, it may be any number of things, from singing, to sewing, to soccer. Find out what it is – I promise you won’t regret it.
  15. Don’t make a SO your whole life – For those of you who don’t know, ‘SO‘ is a trendy term for a ‘significant other‘. And the reason I use this term is because it’s not just a girl problem—guys do this too. Since I’ve gotten to college, I’ve seen more and more people get so consumed in a boyfriend or girlfriend that they forget about everything else around them. There’s nothing wrong with dating, but never get so wrapped up in the person you’re dating that you forget the other important areas of your life.
  16. Stand up for what you believe in – Never be afraid to use your voice and stand up for what you believe in. It can often be scary to share your views, whether they be a belief in God, a political opinion, or a cause that you feel strongly about, but it’s so worth it. Speaking up can make a real difference, and they say that one spark starts a fire. Never be afraid to speak out.
  17. But do this with gentleness and respect – Branching off of the last topic, as important as it is to stand up for your beliefs, it is also important that you do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). It is important that we respect those around us, and present each of our beliefs and views with love.
  18. Don’t be afraid to try new things – I’ll be the first to admit that I hate change. Nonetheless, sometimes change can be good. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things.
  19. Take the time to appreciate beauty – Every day we are surrounded by beauty in this world – whether it be a kind word or a beautiful flower that we see outside. Take the time to appreciate these things, or as the old saying goes, ‘take time to smell the roses‘.
  20. Celebrate life’s accomplishments – You know, like writing a post to celebrate getting older. That sort of thing.😉

There you go! Twenty lessons for twenty years! I hope you enjoyed reading these, and if you have anything that you’d like to add, feel free to write it in the comments section! I’d love to hear your thoughts!😃