In Dependence

I have a confession to make: 

I’m a recovering independent. 

From the time I was a little girl, I’ve always been determined to rely on myself and never, ever ask for help with anything. I had four favorite words as a child—always in the same order.

“I’ll do it myself.” 

As I’ve gotten older, this symptom has only seemed to grow more severe.

Perhaps it’s a by-product of the thousands of self-help/self empowerment messages I’ve absorbed over my lifetime, an extremely perfectionistic personality, or the fear of depending on others. More than likely, it’s a combination of all of the above. Sometimes, this translates into positive character traits such as a good work ethic and healthy sense of independence. Other times, my self-relience becomes a vice. It can cause me to become stubborn, avoiding asking for help—even from the One who we’re called to lean on in times of need.

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This year, I feel like God is slowly trying to break this vice, helping me to rely more on Him and less on myself. Most of you know that this is my first year of college, but one thing that some of you may not know is that I was homeschooled K-12.

I wasn’t anti-social, sheltered, or otherwise freakish during my school years, but prior to 2016, I was in classes where the majority of my classmates shared my faith. I still saw and dealt with many of the same struggles that people in public/private schools deal with, but I was accustomed to being surrounded by fellow believers in my homeschool classes (Yes, many homeschoolers do take classes outside of the house). I had what many people would consider a “small town experience”. I knew most of my teachers before I took classes with them and grew up with a lot of the same kids all the way through school.

Oftentimes, I took the comforts of familiarity for granted, not realizing how comfortable I have become in the same building, with the same students for so many years. Now, I barely know anyone at college and I’m in a secular environment for the first time.

The rug of familiarity has been pulled out from underneath me.

Nonetheless, through all of this, I believe that God is trying to make me stronger and more reliant on Him. No longer can I depend on myself, familiarity, or the comfort of being surrounded by fellow Christians. When I’m alone and uncertain at college, I have to depend solely on God – trusting that He’ll give me the strength I need to get through the day. 

To quote Julian, a fellow blogger friend, I need to “Frog it“—in other words, Fully Rely On God. There are times that we can’t fully rely on ourself in this world. In a world where Christians are becoming more the minority every day, crime and death runs rampant, and a thousand choices lay before our eyes, we need to keep our eyes on one thing and one thing only—Jesus. He’s the only one big enough to help us through all of life’s ups and downs.

If you’re also a recovering independent, I urge you to sink into Jesus and give Him the steering wheel. It may be scary, but in the end, He’s the one that can sustain us and carry us through this rapidly spinning world. We need Him in every breath and every moment.

We need to FROG it, fully relying on a God who knows us in our weakness and strength, our doubt and confidence, and every moment of our life. God has entrusted us with this life that we’re living. 

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The question that we have to answer is this: Will we trust God? 

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
    who draws strength from mere flesh
    and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
    they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
    in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

1 Timothy 4:12 Girl Mission Statement

I have been blogging for a while now, and one of my hopes for this blog is that it is each thread of writing is a piece that inspires.

I’ve read many bloggers and authors who have inspired me in my own faith, including but not limited to Emily P. Freeman, Neta Jackson, and Sarah Bessey. These authors all focus on the beauty of living into God’s best, and that is a theme that I try to emphasis on 1timothy412girl.

Each one of us, regardless of are callings, backgrounds, and life situations are called to something beautiful by the God and Creator of the universe. This may look different for everyone, as we live in an incredibly diverse world of various callings and vocations, but I believe that whatever God’s plan is for our lives, it is bound to be out-of-this-world, which brings me to my next point…

I believe that we are living a story, and God is our author. We all have individual stories, but they are all connected, which is why I try to highlight different testimonies on this blog by posting links to the experiences of fellow believers. When I address different social issues on my blog, I try to take in account real-life stories that correlate to the topic. In one blog entry, I posted a link about a girl who overcame cancer. In another, I posted a story of a guy who found incredible friendship and community in college. Most of the time, I try to focus on positive accounts, but at times, I have linked to more downtempo stories to raise awareness for situations that I don’t believe are being handled well.

In many of my topic-centered-posts, I’ve chosen to focus on topics of faith, staying true to ourselves, and following our dreams, as those are all topics that are very important to me. We are all called to shine for Jesus through both our unique shades of personality and through our hopes and dreams. Thus, this is also a point that I have emphasized throughout my time blogging.

Ultimately, in each post and each letter, I try to glorify God. I try to follow where I believe that He’s leading and make my blog a song that sings to my Creator.

I look forward to continuing my blog and would love any suggestions that you have for future blog-entries. Feel free to post your ideas in the comments section! 😊